Calaveras: Music

• MP3 play whole song, hi-fi (broadband)
• MP3 play whole song, lo-fi (modem)

Dogs are unlike all other animals (and most politicians) because they experience guilt and remorse. If a dog could talk (and sing) I think this is how he would assess himself.

To tell the truth I’m misunderstood
Never had a thing against doing good
But when I see a full moon, I can’t stop howling
Or a tasty little poodle, I can’t keep from growling

I’m a bad dog and I can’t change
Ain’t no ointment for this kind of mange
If it itches I scratch, if it tickles I kick
If it smells I sniff, if it’s nasty I lick
Cause I’m a bad, bad dog.

I once caught a fat Siamese cat—oh boy
Gave it a nice Chinese name—chew toy
But just because I chase squirrels and cats and cars
That’s no reason to put me behind these bars

I spent a year of hard time here in this pen
And you know in dog years, that’s seven to ten
But I’m bustin’ out and it sure is a crime
So many hydrants so little time

Cause I’m a bad dog and I can’t change
Ain’t no ointment for this kind of mange
If it itches I scratch, if it tickles I kick
If it smells I sniff, if it’s nasty I lick
Cause I’m a bad, bad dog.

I might fetch your slippers and bring them to you
But they’ll be covered with slobber and a little chewed too
I don’t roll over or shake or sit
Don’t know how those other mutts put up with that stuff

I once took a try at obedience school
But I must have broken some cardinal rule
While the other dogs were learnin’ to sit up and beg
I was getting acquainted with the instructor’s leg

Bad dog! And I can’t change
Ain’t no ointment for this kind of mange
If it itches I scratch, if it tickles I kick
If it smells I sniff, if it’s nasty I lick
Cause I’m a bad, bad dog.